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Prolifers are often accused of being so focused on saving babies that they are indifferent toward the women who seek abortion. Nothing could be further from the truth. as this interview with Chris Bell, Director of Good Counsel, will show. When I spoke with Chris on 5/9/00, I found him to be a humble person who deeply cares about his “clients”, women who approach his organization seeking assistance. During the interview, he was at times energetic and exuberant, and it was easy to see that he truly enjoyed his work. Yet, when relating poignant incidents from the past, there was also great deal of sadness in his voice. |
Briefly explain what Good Counsel is.
Good Counsel is a family for pregnant women in need. We have homes helping those working with God. Our Mission Statement is this:
“Good Counsel is a family for those in need serving God who is the Father of the orphan, defender of the widow, and who gives the lonely a home to live in. Our Lord’s call to serve the disadvantaged compels us to advocate on behalf of single mothers and their children and to offer love, shelter, and the oppportunity to grow in self-respect and independence. We invoke the patronage of Mary the Lady of Good Counsel, to help us protect mothers in need and to love their children from the moment of their conception.”
That’s a beautiful statement.
Everybody had a hand in it-mothers, staff, board members.
Why did you start Good Counsel?
I was living and working in Times Square with Covenant House, helping homeless runaway and abandoned youth. I saw a lot of young women who were pregnant and had children with no place to go. I kept saying, “Why doesn’t somebody do something to help women and children?” I made the mistake of sharing this problem with Fr. Benedict Groeschel, who is a Franciscan friar, as well as a psychologist, and a close friend and mentor. He told me, “Well Chris, if you’re going to complain about something so much, maybe you ought to do something about it. If you’d like to start a home, I will help you.” At that time I was 27, single and never married. I was too embarrassed to tell Fr. Benedict that I was afraid of babies. So, with his help we found an empty convent in Hoboken. I moved in on New Year’s Eve, 1984. Fr. Benedict said a mass that night, and on March 10th , 1985 we opened up our home.
What was the inspiration behind the program?
One of the first women I met at Covenant House had a baby and I asked her, “Why are you here with your baby?” She told me, “Well Chris, when I first found out I was pregnant, I was happy because I thought I would start my own family. When I went to tell the father of the child, he told me where to go to get rid of this thing. I felt so alone and depressed that I thought about killing myself, but I knew I had to take care of another life. When my daughter was born, my mother told me I should be out on my own like she was when she was a young mother. Chris, I need help…can you help me?” She held up her daughter.
I said yes, of course, but soon found out that there was nothing for a young woman who had a baby, especially if she was 17, 18, or 19 years old. Even if she was 21, 22, or 25 there really were no programs to help a single mother and a baby. So, with that problem in front of me every day-Covenant House continued to take in homeless women and children all the time-I knew that something had to be done and Fr. Benedict would challenge me to do it. Our goal from the beginning was never simply to just have a baby born-which of course is paramount when so many women were threatened with abortion-but also to help women go back to school, find jobs, and help them get back on their feet so they could have better lives.
In fact, I opened up [the home], not thinking too much about prolife. Not that I was ever anything else, but I just had not done anything as a prolifer. It was the women who came into our homes who taught me about the problem of abortion.
The first mother who came to Good Counsel-I call her “Debbie”-had a 6- month-old baby boy. She was 19-years old. She had finished high school and had come from a typical, relatively stable background. One day, she told me something I never could have imagined. She said, “Chris, when I first became pregnant, my mother told me we had to do something about this problem. She took me to Planned Partenthood, who told me they were going to remove this ‘little blob of bloody tissue.’ I didn’t understand what they were saying, but I did ask them ‘Will it hurt?’ They told me ‘Oh no, you’ll just feel a few cramps. You can be back in school in a couple of days and never think about it again.’ When I was in the recovery room I saw another girl crying quietly to herself. I realized what I had done and I started to cry. I was screaming, ‘I killed my baby! I killed my baby!’ The nurses told me if I wouldn’t stop they were going to put me out in the hall. I couldn’t, and they did.”
She asked me two questions at the time I couldn’t answer. She said, “When people see me with Bobby and they say, ‘What a beautiful boy. Is he your first?’ What do I tell them?” And then she said, “Where do you think my first baby is? I know now that when I was pregnant at 9 weeks and went in for that operation that my baby inside me had arms and legs and fingers and toes and a beating heart. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have done what I did. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t know what to say to her at that time. All I could do was sit there and watch her cry.
One mother who came to our home actually had 3 kids; she told me that when she was a young teen, one of her relatives took her for an abortion without her mother’s consent. The next woman who came in with a baby, right out of the hospital, told me everybody told her not to have this baby. If I sat down with any group of women in any of our homes today they all would tell me that somebody told them not to give birth, whether it was a nurse or doctor or relative or so-called friend.
How many branch homes do you have operating?
Eight. We have seven homes and one main office. Eight sites which cover New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. We have women who come from as far away as Florida and Tennessee. We have hotline calls coming from all over the country because of our national toll-free number...
What is that number?
800-723-8331. We also have email, counsel4u@aol.com.
How many mothers do you estimate you’ve helped thus far?
On average, we’re taking care of about 50 women, plus about 50 or 60 kids in residence on any given night…
Did you say per night?
Yes...they’re not different women all the time, but that’s …well, tonight, for example, we’ll have a hundred mothers and babies. We’re getting 30 to 40 phone calls on the hotline per week. Then we have Exodus and Outreach services in several locations which may care for another 50 or so families on the outside. In a given week we may have assisted well over 200 people.
What is the typical kind of case that you handle?
Women come from all kinds of different backgrounds. Women who have had abortions will typically get pregnant within 2 years after the abortion. That’s why we see them.
Is this when the prior abortion hits them the hardest?
Yes. I think what happens is they’re trying to make up for what they did by having a baby. Some call it an “atonement baby.” We need to help these women who need healing so much…that’s what we need to be there for. As Msgr. [Phillip] Reilly [of the Helpers of God’s Precious Infants] pointed out, “Wait for the women who are coming out of the abortion mills, because they are more than likely to have the next abortiion as well.” We could prevent that next abortion by being there.
That’s a good point. Have any of your clients successfully gotten back on their feet?
Oh yes. This year alone we have 4 women working with us who had been in residence before. Several women who have left us have come back and done some speaking on our behalf, and several more wanted to, but the opportunities hadn’t worked out.
How about women who have re-entered the professional workforce? Have they found it difficult to readjust?
It’s a very difficult balance. Ideally, the mother could care for her child at home all the time, but the reality of where our women live and what they’re doing…well, let’s just say this. Their way to keep sane and to maintain freedom from an oppressive government and from oppressive men is to be independent. In the past, there have been widows who’ve had to care for their children by going out to work. It’s never been ideal or desired, but today that’s been the same situation.
Has Good Counsel received any governmental support?
We’ve received some HUD grants and some local county money, but never with any kind of strings attached that would interfere in any way with our mission.
If you had a chance to plead for assistance for Good Counsel from either state or federal government, how would you present your case?
Well, ideally, I prefer that the government stay out of charity work. I think they should make it easier and give even more advantages thorugh taxes to encourage people to want to give to homeless mothers and babies. I would rather that they not overregulate good charitable works.
Aside from prayer, how can the “average Joe” assist your operation?
Well, we certainly need financial assistance. Anybody can send a tax- deductible donation to Good Counsel. The main address is:
Good Counsel 303 Madison St. Hoboken, NJ 07030
They can call directly for more information or to make a credit-card donation at 201-795-0637.
Thank you very much for your time, Chris.
You’re welcome. Thank you for your interest.
[Ed. note: Visit Good Counsel's Web site at http://homepages.enterprise.net/goodcounsel/]