There's an insidious disease out there that attacks one in ten Americans. It's not infectious, but it's crafty; it'll make you think it doesn't exist. I know, because I've got this disease. It's called diabetes mellitus.
I'm not going to bore you with the clinical definition (you probably already know it, anyway). I'm going show you a scenario of the effects that uncontrolled diabetes can have on a person. Believe me, I know -- at one time or another, I've experienced all of the things described below.
It starts early in the morning. I might wake up two or three times in the middle of the night with my bladder bursting. Symptom number one: frequent urination.
During the day, as I work on my computer, I'm often prone to spells of weakness and dizziness. It's hard to keep my head up. Symptom number two: excessive fatigue.
After lunch, I begin to notice tiny little spots in the corners of my vision. It's not that bad -- yet. Symptom number three: retinal damage.
Throughout the day, I gulp down several quarts of liquid. My throat is constantly parched. Symptom number four: excessive thirst. In the late evening I lay down, trying to sleep. I toss and turn because of a burning pain running from the ankles to the toes of both my feet. Symptom number five: neuropathy.
Then my toes start to cramp, sending sharp jolts up my leg. I continue to toss until the early morning, when I finally drift off to sleep. Symptom number six: foot/leg cramps.
These symptoms, and others, are experienced by uncontrolled diabetics the world over. Notice that I qualified my statement with the word "uncontrolled". That's because a diabetic has a choice. To you, it might seem an easy choice, and perhaps it is. Pain or no pain. To have a toe or not to have a toe. Sure, easy choices. Until you have to LIVE them. It's difficult to see your friends and loved ones casually eating a candy bar or a piece of pie without wanting one yourself. It's difficult to see your wife snacking on Chex Mix while watching television without craving the same. In short, the "easy" decisions that a diabetic must make involve a total change of lifestyle.
Of course, some diabetics don't really have a choice. For them, it's a matter of life and death. These are known as Type-I, or "juvenile onset" diabetics. They are generally insulin-dependent -- they must give themselves shots of insulin every day for the rest of their lives. I used to be one of the "lucky" ones -- Type-II, or "adult onset" diabetics. This means that I was supposed to be able to control my diabetes by a combination of diet and medication. However, recently I was diagnosed as "insulin-dependent," which means I now fall into the latter category.
Controlled diabetes means having a controlled diet, which, for me at least, is near-impossible. I used to believe that controlled diabetes was the hardest form of diabetes to deal with--I reasoned that Type-I diabetics have no choice. They MUST alter their lifestyles, or face death. But until recently, I did have a choice, and therein lies the rub.
To some, it would seem a matter of willpower. They are correct in the sense that it takes an act of the will to discipline yourself into following a diet. But it also takes an acceptance of certain facts, which not all diabetics (including myself) are willing to face up to. Like some others, I am in a continual state of denial. I have been for nine years, ever since the first day I learned I had this accursed disease. Rationally, I can see the effects every day; I have all of the symptoms. But for some reason, my mind doesn't want to accept the truth. I've heard the horror stories -- I've even experienced several of them (the loss of my left leg, laser surgery on my left eye). I know it can get worse, much worse. Yet I feel powerless to stop it.
I've tried many times to stay on a diet. Sometimes I'm successful in that I can keep up the diet for a week or a month. But I always end up failing when I realize that the diet must be PERMANENT, for the remainder of my adult life. And that's where the denial comes in. Think about it -- all of those delicious goodies you love to eat; all of them, GONE FOREVER. So how does this tale end for me? To tell you the truth, I'm not sure myself. I could wind up in the hospital for another leg amputation. I could go completely blind (in which case you'd probably never see any more of my writing!) Or I could accept the fact that I'm a diabetic, and begin to love life enough to want to change my diet permanently. I don't know what final course my life will take. I leave that up to the Man Upstairs. But in the meantime...pass the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, please. Wait--check that: pass the Nutrasweet-flavored wafers...